Are you falling apart or are things falling into place? Gratitude helps you have a healthy perspective in life, specially when things go wrong!
The below picture publication is by Toby Mac and states the following: 'Some day you will see that it wasn't falling apart, it was falling into place.' Great statement! The thing is, Toby recently lost his son... it was a terribly sad story, yet their faith carried them through. When my brother died, not only was the pain horrible for me, yet I saw this in others too, especially in our parents. I am grateful that all my four children are alive, and I can't imagine how it feels to lose your own child! I also lost two of my three brothers-in-law - it was sad to see their families suffering loss. Yet it also means these people meant the world to us. There is love in suffering, too. Crazy as this might sound, but one can find comfort in the greatest of pain - and gratitude helps a great deal.
Handle Grief Well
At my brother's funeral, my aunty said something that really helped me: 'we must accept it.' When we lose loved ones, we at first don't want to accept this painful reality. We don't want it to be true and want that precious person back. Yet that person will never return... It's a reality we must accept. Fighting it won't help. We can remain grateful for the time spent with them and cherish the beautiful memories we made with them. That's why it's so important to value life and be grateful for every moment. We never know when life is over or when life hits us hard. Not that we should live in constant fear that something bad might happen any time, but rather be grateful for what we have and not live resentful over what we don't have or wished we have. Being bitter over things will make us devalue what we have. This lack of gratitude makes people blind to what is still good in life. Most people learn it the hard way: they value people or things only once they've lost them. Value them now!
What a Crucifixion Might Feel Like
People have always wondered what a crucifixion might feel like. I am grateful to God that I was spared physical pain - never broken a bone. I hope it stays that way. I learned a thing or two about the pain of contempt, rejection, abandonment, revenge, hatred and jealousy. It's tough. It's painful. What a crucifixion feels like, can, in part at least, be experienced in different ways, apart from an actual physical crucifixion (a practice now largely outdated). Jesus suffered rejection, abandonment, hatred, jealousy - and excruciating physical pain on top of that! How did that feel? And all of that He experienced while being innocently condemned and falsely convicted, doing all of this for humans He loves and seeks to save. This is the heart of the Gospel: the innocent one died for the guilty one. He carried our sin so we might have forgiveness.
Sometimes we suffer because it's our own fault - so we realise, we deserve it. Sometimes we suffer because others cause it - and we realise this is not fair or right, yet it's part of our human existence on earth. We can't escape it, yet we can learn how to handle it. We can't control everything that happens to us, but we can certainly learn of how to respond to it. When we go through a 'crucifixion experience,' how shall we respond to it? Peter gave us some instructions on Christ's example in suffering and encourages us to 'follow in His steps' (1 Peter 2:21). Jesus 'committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously' (vv 22-23). There is a power greater than bitterness and revenge: forgiveness and humility. In forgiving, He kept His heart free of bitterness; in His humility, He was able to trust God for a good outcome despite the present torment and pain. Death on the Cross was not the end; resurrection was the outcome! Suffering is temporary - always remember that. As long as suffering has a good outcome, there is comfort and hope. Life continues. 'The show must go on,' according to Freddy Mercury, yet life is not a show. Life has to be real and lived. And sometimes bad things happen to good people - fact of life. Even if you suffer innocently, if there is a benefit for someone, it's worth it. Keep a good attitude by expressing gratitude. Dwell on the good things in life.
Keeping a Healthy Perspective
Gratitude helps us keep a healthy perspective. You've heard it before from people after going through some stuff: 'it could've been worse!' There's gratitude in this attitude. Yes, it was bad, but on the whole not as bad as it could've been. There's also comfort in this. The key is gratitude for what didn't go wrong, the suffering that could've happen but didn't.
Even if, for example, things didn't go well in your childhood - the most crucial period in anyone's life - what will you do with it? How will you respond? Remain resentful and make a bad situation worse? Or will you learn the ways of forgiveness and gratitude and make the best of everything? It's a choice. It's generally true that children from healthy homes become healthy adults, but the exceptions are are noteworthy. It is also true that some of the most successful people in the world come from broken homes. This makes me to conclude that it is primary about what we make of life.
Larry Elder, for example, has given a powerful interview about his relationship with his dad. He was, at first, resentful because of what he went through as a child, yet once he realised what his dad did despite his own tough upbringing and life, it changed his attitude and restored his relationship with his dad. 'Never judge a book by its cover,' is truly an important proverb. I realised this the other day. I found a small coin from one of my trips to Malaysia. On one side of the coin is a symbol, on the other side is the value of the coin. One cannot establish the value of the coin from only looking at the one side. In the same way, every story has two sides, and one better understand the situation properly before we evaluate it or dare judge it. The same is true for our lives: look at the other side of the coin to value what you have. We should be grateful in life, even if some things are tough or seem unfair. Can you be grateful for what your parents did, even if some things weren't exactly perfect? Keep a healthy attitude by gratitude.
Value your Blessings
We should always value what we have, else we eventually lose what we devalue. Esau, for example, 'despised his birthright' (Genesis 25:34). A birthright was the highest of privileges in those days, and it was also a responsibility. In the context of God's blessing, Esau was to carry the blessing of Abraham and Isaac to his descendants. Yet he despised this honour and God rejected him as the bearer of His promises and blessings. His twin-brother Jacob, on the other hand, born just shortly after Esau, was eager to take on that responsibility and became the worthy bearer of what God had in store for the descendants of Abraham. One biblical author describes Esau as an 'immoral' and 'godless' man, 'who sold his own birthright for a single meal' (Hebrews 12:16). He was 'rejected' despite remorse (v 17). Some serious major decisions cannot be undone. We better think things through very carefully, because actions have consequences.
Ingratitude leads to despising our blessings, which in turn leads to losing what should have been ours. But what God gives us, is not only for ourselves, but for others too. Hence, God had to choose a worthy bearer of His blessings and the spiritual inheritance for the generations to come. Esau's reasoning was wrong, therefore his decision was fatal. Since he thought he was about to die (a wrong assumption), he reasoned, '... what use then is the birthright to me?' (Genesis 25:32). First of all, even if we think our lives won't last much longer, a birthright and its blessing are not only for us and must be passed on to the next generation. This responsibility doesn't depend on the length of days, but an attitude of gratitude and honour towards God and His blessings and purpose. Esau was also wrong to think in a selfish way. It was not about what use it was to him, but what blessing it will become to his descendants, blessed by God through the covenant with father Abraham. When we don't see the value or use of our inheritance, we despise it, give it away cheaply and lose it. This principle applies to all areas of life, including relationships, gifts and talents, and even material possessions.
When Things are Falling into Place
So, life can bring many challenges, yet having an appreciation for what we have, will help us have a good perspective and healthy attitude in life. Sometimes life can really look like everything is falling apart, yet trusting God and engaging properly with life's circumstances can cause things to fall into place. Keep a good attitude of gratitude, value your blessings, and keep doing what is right and responsible. Trust God that things will fall into place.
Be grateful. Always.
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